((Author's
Note: A little diddy inspired by World of Warcraft.
Liathano and Anri are two of my characters (Thorium Brotherhood and
This
story is rated T for minor swearing and violence and such.))
Swinging
Chickens
A
World of Warcraft fanfic
By
Kristin Renee Taylor
Part
One -
The
bar was, for once, mercifully empty, quite a rare
occasion for a normally occupied night. Liathano sat at the bar, nursing a cup
of milk like it was possibly the last cup of milk on Azeroth. The bartender, a
slim, handsome young human named Gorthad, stood at
the other end of the bar, close enough to see if the green-clad female warrior
needed refilling, but far enough away to not be in conversation range. He
polished an ale mug in his hands with a cloth, the same mug he'd been polishing
for an hour now. Tammie the Wench cleaned the empty tables idly. Dave the Bard
sat in his usual corner and played craps with Fizzlethork
the Goblin Bouncer. Other than those five, the tavern was deader than an
Yep,
all was peaceful and quiet. And boring. So very, very boring.
So
when the door to the Swinging Chicken opened, most of those people looked up in
immediate expectation of money with legs. What they got was a short, scrawny
woman in faded black clothing that had seen better days, unarmed, and radiating
the care-free attitude of the aimless wanderer and vagabond. Fizzlethork eyed the newcomer warily. Everybody else went
back to what they were doing: nothing. Liathano alone ignored the woman
entirely.
Humming
tunelessly, the woman strode into the nearly empty tavern, nodding greetings to
the employees. She plopped down on the stool next to Lia's, her black ponytail
bobbing and swaying with her movements. She ordered ale, which Gorthad delivered with timely precision. She drink it all
in one long guzzle, then slammed the empty mug down on the bar and released a
loud, deep, satisfied belch. Only then did she turn to the morose warrior
beside her. "Yo, Lia.
Long time no speak."
"Yo."
"How's
life treatin' ya?"
The
warrior grunted without looking up from her milk.
Anri
(for that was the newcomer's name) frowned slightly, a bit perturbed by her
friend's despondency. Violet eyes narrowed in consternation as she studied the
warrior. "Hm?" She
grinned brightly. "Lemme guess: guy
problems!"
Silence
from the warrior.
Anri
blinked. "Girl problems?"
Slowly,
Liathano's head turned to glare at the thief, dark blue eyes hard as flint.
Oblivious,
Anri continued her list. "Gnome problems? I know ya hate gnomes. Or is it Night Elf problems? Ya don't seem t' like them very much, even though they like
ya a whole
lot!" Anri snickered. "Oh, wait, don't tell me. That shit with
Tobias, that's what's got ya down, right? That whole
'wah wah my bro's tryin' t' kill me! Boo hoo woe is
me!'" She grinned broadly. "That it?"
Almost
too fast to be seen, Lia stood, sword out of her scabbard and in her hand as
she started to round on the thief.
Even
faster was Anri's knife appearing at Lia's throat. Liathano froze. The thief continued to smile
pleasantly, but her eyes acquired the darker, harder look of a professional
killer. "Here now," Anri said calmly, "no fightin',
eh? We're all friends here. Right?"
For
the space of three heartbeats, the tableau remained frozen, all eyes on the two
women. And then, on some unseen signal, both woman relaxed and retook their
seats. Liathano sheathed her sword. Anri's knife
vanished back into the sleeve of her shirt. They ordered drinks. Gorthad delivered them gingerly, half-expecting either
woman to chop off his hand at the slightest twitch. Only Fizzlethork
seemed unfazed by the near double homicides.
Dave
quietly excused himself, citing a new for new breeches.
Five
minutes of silence reigned unchallenged.
Anri
broke it first. "Ya need t' get laid, that's
what."
Liathano
glared at her. "Does everything devolve into sex with you?"
"Nah. It devolves to money, too."
Lia
grunted sourly. "Thieving whore."
Anri
slung an arm around Lia's shoulders and grinned. "I love ya, too, ya uptight Amazon meatshield."
Liathano
made a sound that might've been laughter. "You only love yourself."
"Not
true!" Anri declared, waving a finger in the air for emphasis.
"There's the kid."
"'The kid.' Do you even know 'the
kid's' name?"
Anri's mouth opened, then shut, then opened again in a
toothy smile. "Does it matter?"
Liathano
rolled her eyes. "I should've known."
"See?
That's what I'm talkin' about!" Anri exclaimed.
She drew Liathano into a headlock, ignoring the other woman's startled yell and
struggling limbs. "What's it matter if I never say the kid's name? I know what it is, so stop concerning yerself with my shit!" Lia
finally broke the hold, shoving Anri back into her stool. Liathano rubbed her throat,
glaring.
Anri
smirked. "Ya know what yer
problem really is? Ya think too much."
"You
don't think enough," Lia grated out immediately.
"And
which of us is happier because of it?" Ignoring Liathano's startled look,
Anri drained her mug, belched again, and stood. "Speakin'
of the kid, I gotta go. She get's
all freaked out when I'm not there." She winked at Liathano. "I told
her I was pickin' up some food. Guess I outta do it, eh?" Laughing
raucously, the thief strode out, ponytail bouncing jauntily on her way out.
Liathano
glared at the door as it shut behind Anri. A polite cough made her whirl and
snap "WHAT?"
Gorthad slid a piece of paper towards her. "Your bill." He added dryly, "I take it
you'll be paying for your? friend, as well?"
"Yeah, right." She blushed, a little
mortified. "Um, sure." She reached for her
money pouch. And, then, frowning, she patted the place where she kept her
second pouch. And then, frowning more, she looked inside her vest to see that
the careful stitching of her hidden pocket had been cut, and all her money
removed.
She
looked up at Gorthad, who paled visibly, and said
calmly, "I'm sorry, it seems as though I have no silver at the
moment." She stood. "Will you pardon me?"
Gorthad nodded dumbly, silently praying to every
deity imaginable that he never be the target of the look of Lia's face ever
again.
Lia
nodded. "Thanks." Picking up her sword, she walked slowly out of the
tavern, softly shutting the door behind her.
Two
seconds later:
"ANRI!"